Exactly one month ago, I was still fulfilling my promise to myself to get serious about losing weight. Today, I am faltering with this idea and its causing me internal conflict. Somewhere in the past month I have lost sight of what I want, long term.
The short term has stolen the show and now I'm stuck FURTHER back than where I started. It is wretched.
Exactly one year ago I was 25 pounds lighter.
I am so frusturated with myself for losing that motivation.
Keeping up with everything I want is almost impossible. I suppose I need to prioritize then... But how does one go about prioritizing their life, when everything seems important?
I recently had minor surgery so I am in no mood to try to exercise, but every time I'm home on break is when these outbursts of motivations and cries for help surface.
I know when I go back in 3 days, I will still have this motivation; but when will I lose it again? When work gets overwhelming? When my fraternity because over-bearing? When school starts to swallow me whole? I wish I could get everything straight and I had a schedule that I could follow everyday. But it seems I cannot make myself work that way.
At least I don't think so.... Maybe I should schedule out my days and STICK to it.
Sticking to stuff, unless your gum or glue, is a challenging job. Keeping up with your original intentions is one of the best tests of time.
I wish I could find a way to rejuvenate my self-motivation everyday. Like a refresh button that I push every morning to get myself going on the right path. No divergence from my goal: weight loss success, school success, organizational success.
Simple enough.
Yeah Right.
Well, from this I will make a schedule and start every morning the same. Some sort of exercise. Maybe a couple's workout Tu/Th and on M/W/F I'll go to a morning yoga class, or lift weights.
My goal of 2 pounds per week was crap. I truthfully haven't lost any weight. I've actually gained a couple. It blows. Big time. But I can admit that my mind set toward food as altered. I take note of everything I eat and I consciously make efforts to find a healthy or well balanced meal.
So success there.
Now to follow through with the kicker and lose this lousy weight. I can't wait to feel sexy again, like I did my senior year of High school. Graduating was one of the best things, health wise, to ever happen to me.
I shall now go and make my schedule, complete some school work to put me ahead of the grind, and continue to try to look fondly upon my life.
Best of Wishes,
Rose.
